According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
