she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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