dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
