Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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