Will you blow on my dice?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
