I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
