I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
