woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
