You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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