Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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