Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
