Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
