I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
