I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
