does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
