Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
