I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
