a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
