i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
