He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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