what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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