ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
