Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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