I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
