this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
