I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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