Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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