So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
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You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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