I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize