why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
