He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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