do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
