I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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