That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
this beer tastes like vomit already
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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