I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
