glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
