Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
