Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
