this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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