He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
