Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
