Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
