dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We left the knife in your bed.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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