What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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