I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
