Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
