I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
