Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
