Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
