He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
