hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize