I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
