Define "chronic" masturbator.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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