DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
