He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize