So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You dont lie about slip and slides
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
