More tranny stories later!
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
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We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
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When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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