i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just had sex on a roof
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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