I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize