i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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