his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
