ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
