Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he fucked my hip out of place.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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